I guess i'll start by letting you know that most likely the titles to my blogs have NOTHING to do with the content of it. It's just whatever word comes to mind while i'm typing the shit. Today the title is 'breasts' because my shirt is so damn low cut, that if i bend over... they might fall out lol. I just need to pull it up. But i'm laying down so who-the-fuck-cares?
Anyways, on the more interesting things.. well to me anyways... Well what i'd first like to spill my guts on is the disappointment I feel in myself right now, because I slipped up yet again, after I promised myself.. put my FOOT down & told myself to behave.. I went back on my word and didn't take the second step into making a positive change.. so for that, i'd like to say FUCK YOU.. to me.
Last night I went to my best friends house. And you know what? He doesn't think anything is wrong with our friendship. I think I typed that before but it still bothers me. Like the problem is all in my head. But now I see that its just me who isn't okay with the fact that he's a self-centered son-of-a-BITCH. UGH. I remember when we first became close.. he was the first person to ever get me something for valentines day... he sent roses to my front door step.. lol I cried out of happiness. And he got me something for my birthday.. if I ever needed him, he was there. I couldn't find anyone sweeter than him. But now, he's just.. all about him. Like I don't even matter anymore. We're best friends when it's convienent for him to say so. Not just because we grew close that way. Like i'm a temporary fix to whatever it is he's going through. And although I love him, I HATE HIM. And I wish it was just easy to let go. That's why I don't love. Well, hate to love. It's been very FEW people to get that kind of love from me. Matter fact, just 2. I don't know why I just can't let go. I feel so... used.
Well work was okay today. Magic came too see me when I got off work today. I really dont know what he expects from me. Hopefully not a relationship... cause I would neverrrrr even consider it. He's a cutie though.
Well until next time...!!!