Well hello world! I'm coming to you with a heavy heart tonight. I hate when I get myself into confusing situations where I can't determine where my heart stands. First, before I get into all that extra shit. Lets discuss my day.
I didn't do a damn thing today. I sat my ass in the house all day. I didn't even take a trip to the store. I need some damn air. I might take a walk tonight. One of those relaxing walks. Maybe take myself to the beach & sit & look at the water. Maybe cry a little. Haven't really had some ME time.
Lol i'm watching BET awards right now. It's SO sad. They shouldn't have did Nelly like that. Puttin his sorry ass performance after all those GREAT performances. Make his shit look even worse. & yea I know i'm wating it late. But shit I had to work.
First issue of this blog. My 'Best Friend' like YO, your prob tired of reading about him... but get over it lol. I see that the past 2 years and all the things that we made it through is ending just like my first real friendship. Parris & Alexandria are one in the same. Shit is always sweet in the beginning & as time goes on you see that people really arent shit. If it's one thing people always say about me is that I never change. [negatively at least] If I had a fucked up attitude when you met me, i'mma still have one later on down the line. Parris you take the very thing you say you love about me and make it the very thing you hate. You can't truly love me if you hate part of the package. There is no if, ands, & buts in love. It's just love. And now that I see I was the same damn fool that I was before. & I won't let your bullshit ass attitude control my feelings. You are SO petty. Now your what? Ignoring me or some shit? Fuck you then. Cause I ain't never met a nigga that I needed in my life & you DAMN SURE WON'T BE THE FIRST! So from today on forward. I do not have a best friend. I will not have another best friend. This is why I have a small circle of people.
This is one of the reasons why i'm skeptical on even LETTING Charlie into my life... into my small circle. I mean yeah, i'm lonely as hell.. i'm not gonna lie. But i'd rather be lonely than waste my time on yet another worthless person. What you HAVE, doesn't make me any difference. I will not drop my panties because I know your pockets is heavy. I don't give a damn how many bitches you got ready to give you the pussy. Because if you gotta flaunt that at me, that just lets me know you want me. But if you wanted me even more you wouldn't mind waiting. I mean if you want something REAL. I don't wanna play any games. I had enough from the lames in the past. If your looking for something real, & no i'm not talkin bout no real sex & all that other bullshit, then let me know! You talk serious, but you always tryna creep on the late night. I'm nobody's late night thing & I damn sure won't be yours. You come chill with me during normal people hours & stop tryina creep though when the world sleep. Stop PLAYING with me. If you gon keep playing, then let me know. And RUN YOUR ASS TO THE NEXT BITCH. Because this lady isn't even up for it.
Anyways, my last issue. I'm so sick of people underestimating me!!! Fuck all of you lames. & when i'm doing all the things I said i'm gonna do I want you to kiss my ass! & i'm seriously putting thought into going back home... away from Jacksonville. Ain't shit here but bullshit & more bullshit!
Ryann's moving to New Orleans next week. Man I sure know how to pick em. I mean.. how the fuck do you just up & decide to move away? No inda further notice or anything. Sometimes I don't see why I make some of the decisions I make. But whatever. I'ma bounce back. I always do. This time around i'm not gonna associate myself with any of these niggas.
Goodnight.