I wonder how long this love bug is going to last. It's like it bit me & i'm infected. It's not that I love someone... I just want to. I'm in love with someone who doesn't exist. I guess i'm... in love with love? Andd ahhh man does it hurt. Love is slowly but surely breaking my heart. Parris' cousin says to me, " I didn't think someone with an attitude like yours could love somebody ". I wish I couldn't love anybody. I don't wanna be in love but at the same time I do. The devil & an angel are playing tug-o-war with my heart.
Wanna know a secret? I cried last night. Not no boohoo shit... I don't cry like that. Just those tears. The ones that sometimes make me feel better. They didn't make me feel better last night though. I still feel the same way. Like I wanna cry again. I don't handle stress well. I hold so much inside for SO long, that it comes out the wrong way. & I can't trust a soul with my heart. I try to but it never comes out right. Blah blah.
I'm hurting inside right now. So bad. My heart has too much sitting on top. Life & love. Them 2 are some deadly motherfuckers too. My mood right is just so... I don't know. I don't even feel like blogging right now. I'll check back in later on tonight & add some shit.
xPce!
Ha i'm back.. again.
Why does everyone feel the need to control me? Why do people think i'm like some animal that needs to be tamed or that they need to put a leash on? I am a PERSON. I have FEELINGS. I have a HEART. I'm making a transition for you because I want you & it's hurting because its all going to WASTE! You overlook so much SHIT about me, and swear up & down you know me. You don't wanna love me. & i'm not gonna make you. Just let me go.