Before I get into all that... I just got off the phone with Timmy [Montaga]. I told him about Philip crazy ass. Lol that will be the last time I tell that story! Real shit. I want to mention his name as less as possible. Bringing up too much negativity ya feel? Just to keep as much of that crazy shit in the past as possible.
Also talkin' about him brought up some feelings for Parris. Not the ones i'm getting over.. but the ones where I always realize the reasons WHY he's so close to my heart. I wanna hate him so bad but I just can't... my heart wont let me. I want him to just go away. But when he texts me, I cant stop myself from responding. I think about him constantly & wish so hard that he can understand how i'm feeling towards him & why. Wish he could feel the pain i'm feeling. But he doesn't. Parris is always about Parris. He's self-centered. And sometimes I don't believe he loves me at all anymore. I feel that he just says it because he's used to saying it. I feel like txting him right now. But i'm not going to. If I dont keep the distance from him then i'm just going to backslide some more. & I dont want that... I want to change. & I am changing. I know that its coming slowly. But i'm emerging. Emerging into the woman that I know I need to be, that I want to be. I'm getting there guys. Sooner or later.
Okay lets get to this bitch ass nigga Charlie. This nigga done went over his motherfuckin' head disrespecting me! Talkin' about I been givin him my ass to kiss the past two weeks. Bitch like you been since i've met you? You went from sweet, cool & smart ass all hell, to disrespectful & irritating! Me havin' love for you was shortlived nigga because you disrespected me for the LAST time. His last txt to me says 'i dont give a fuk where u at u gone acknowledge me pusy when i talk to u. N pussy ass nigga i done wanted to c u more than 1 time but yo fat ass ain't wanna get up out fa bed n cone cross town to c me fat ass. Like u b do busy. Kiss yo ass, nigga suck mi dick I know you wanted to when u seen dat email pussy'. Nigga FUCK YOU! & bitch if i'm talkin' to other people then i'ma talk to other people. I told your ignorant ass that i was at work. Get the FUCK over it! The fuck i'ma drive way over to DUNNS for to see your bitch ass? Who are you to me? What have you done for me? What the fuck could I possibly occupy myself with coming to YOUR house besides fucking? NOTHING. Got me FUCKED up. Then the one time you come to your apartment down the street you expect me to just drop everything & hail a cab or some shit? Nigga either wait or do what the fuck you gotta do. I dont give a MotherFUCK. And bitch I ain't even close to FAT. Cause i damn sure know you wouldn't have wasted your time even speaking to me if you thought I was fat. I'm beautiful & best believe this the last you will ever disrespect me! Nigga, suck your dick? You better go talk to them young bitches & them older bitches you fuckin wit! I hope your dumb ass catch a case with one of them young bitches! That email ain't do shit but let me know that I aint the only one you sendin them pictures to! Take your dick & shove it up ya own ass cause you would never get in between my legs! I'm supposed to give a fuck about you not callin' me anymore? THANK YOU, I won't have to worry about wasting my time hearin the same shit over & over out ya mouth. Good luck on life nigga!
Wooo. Now I feel better. Niggas just got me fucked up. Next up. I'm happy, I been gettin hours! I just been pullin em lately. Thats a good thing cause I do need it! Still workin' on gettin a new job. As well as kickin it in Cali for a week in October. Cant wait til my little Jaeden comes down. I'm going to spoil his little ass. Then send him home to his damn mama! Lol best thing about not having kids.
I'm gettin one of those wierd..' back the fuck up somethin wrong with this nigga' kinda feelin from Mike N. Even though thats my dawg brother I think somethin might be wrong with his ass.. not crazy or retarded like whatshisname. Just like... maybe he might be soft. Lol maybe its his voice. Lawd knows I love me a sexy deep voice! & his just ain't cuttin it. But I dunno. No relationship. I might go out to eat once or twice with him but other then that i'm good. Just cool peoples. Another one on the team.
damn I need to put some grease on my damn scalp. This shit feel soft on the outside & rough on da inside. Finna go do that as soon as I publish this. Well....
Plans for tomorrow.
+ Flat Iron Hair
+Go to the bank
+Go to the post office
+Go to work.
Man i'm gettin fat as hell.. I need to look good for wednesday. Gotta buy me a new dress too! Gonna be look too fly ya feel me! I need to find me one of them bras that go around the neck too. Cause I got this fye ass white baby phat shirt & I cant be braless cause shit i think it might be a lil see through. But yeahhh thats about it. I'm tired of typing. Goodnight!
xPce