Boy I sure know how to pick em. Even the sweetest ones are full of shit as I said so many times before. I didn't cry over him. I cried to myself because my heart is all dirty from being dragged through the dirt. I'm going through the healing process and I made a big step. I thought I would never have to give Darrius walking papers... but I did. I also gave Parris his walking papers, as well as deleting his numbers.
I cant believe I even opted to believe what Parris said about Darrius. He tried to manipulate me. And I almost let him. How could I be so stupid? Now even though what Parris said about Darrius wasn't true, there are some things Darrius needed to handle before he could even think about truly loving & being with me & he knows that.
I love me more than I love anyone else in this world. And before I put them before me in a forever type of thing they need to show me that they are actually worth being important. And in this case neither proved to be. So they had to go. Being alone is what I need. Now I can solely focus on my goal of gaining my independence.
I stand before you a broken woman. I'm hurt. And I feel like dying inside. But I know that I will be okay & I know that things will get better. And to anyone not helping me in my healing process... FUCK you. Period. Now time for me to go blow my nose, play mobsters one last time, and go to sleep. Goodnight.
xPce