I am trying so hard. And the harder I try the more I fuck up. Why do I do this to myself? I know im smarter than this.. I know!!! But fuck it. Aint gonna cry over spilled milk. Keep it fucking pushin.
Darrius really hurt me today. He tried to hurt me because I hurt him, when he hurt me first. I just wanna be happy. I wanna love myself with no if, ands, buts, or wonders. I wanna be able to be in love and not be scared. I wanna just let love flow. I dont wanna be scared to show it. I want everything to be how its supposed to be. I dont wanna love a Little and then everything goes wrong. And thats what happens with them. I trust them with my love and then they FUCK IT UP.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.. I want so scream and cry & throw things and fall and I just cant. Because I cant let them see me broken. Ima be okay one day. ... One day.