There is just something about love that just... prevails? Man.. I can't explain it. I'm so happy. && HE makes me happy. Darrius && I have had our ups && downs... We've known eachother two years and have had our share of problems... but now we're together... and we're happy. I'm not fighting our love, && i'm not running from it either. I'm letting it flow through my veins && become apart of me. He's becoming apart of me.
After all the crazy BS, i'm doing the right thing. I deleted numbers, I don't occupy my time with them, I don't keep any on stand-by. Well.. they do that on they're own lol. But man.... I haven't been in a relationship since February. && I haven't been in a real relationship since... well never. I have boundaries && limitations now that are foreign to me... but I like them.... I love them. When he tells me no I can't do something... I love it.. lol Like tonight when I told him I was going for my run.. && it was well after 11... he told me no. && I said alright. He tells me not to cut my hair, stay out the club, && I say... okay.. alright. He doesn't abuse it, && he doesn't abuse me. He loves me, && in his own little ways he shows me.
He's consuming my thoughts!! I'm getting attached to him, && he knows, but its okay, because he's attached to me too. We just flow, && I guess thats all I can expect us to do. I love him, && when the love is real, it changes you to accommodate that love. We're changing to fit perfect for eachother. Lol.. Damn.. I wrote a lot.... well.... Darrius is mines, && I don't have to share him with anyone, he isn't leaving, && I can call him whenever. All the things that let me know that my past is my past for a reason. My Chapter one ended when I accepted the fact that things happen to make you better && even with all my mistakes i'm not a bad person. Now my Chapter two is beginning.
I have my number one man, Darrius. && school is on the ball && rolling!!! I got my financial aid, so now i'm going up to the school tomorrow for my placement test, && hopefully by the end of next week I will be registered for classes starting in January. I'm falling in love with life, && even the people who are trying to bring me down aren't succeeding!! It's like they're bouncing right off me && I don't even feel the blows. Happiness is great. && I'm happy i've been able to grasp it. Everything isn't perfect, but it's perfect enough. I'm blessed && I love my life. But now i'm going to have to find someway to get to sleep so I can get up in the morning!! Goodnight all!!!
xPce