Okayyy okayy I know I know, it's been a while. So fuckin' what.. kill me?? Sometimes I just don't be up to sitting up here typing my life story ya'know? Well i'm fine && still breathing so I guess I can say life has been alright. Yeah a few new things.. soo I guess i'll start with work life.
Well i'm starting to regret turning down Babies R' Us ... but then again its gonna be WAYYYY to hectic for me to deal with when Christmas comes. I didn't get the job at Citi.. but thats no surprise, I didn't have my hopes too high anyway. Limited Too hours have been picking up, but not enough. So I might go to Kohl's && apply for the mornings.. && do Limited Too nights. I need to do something because I've been resisting the urge to shop. But whatever it is i'll be doing it soon. Plus the discount would be good for Christmas time. Next school life.
FCCJ is driving me nuts!!! When they said within two weeks, I didn't think they meant like until the fourteenth damn day. Tomorrow it will be exactly two weeks. And I still don't know whassup. I'm so nervous because I know that if this doesn't go through then i'm not gonna start school until next year... && I might just get so wrapped up in my work life that i'm not gonna start school for a while... because I know myself && I know I do procrastinate. I just really need this to work out so that I can get my life started. Cause Lord knows I need to stop bullshitting!!!
Lol okay I just did something really really stupid!!! I really wanted bangs right?! Sooo My dumb ass went in the bathroom && parted my hair && what not.. and tried to cut the shit myself... I don't even wanna talk about how ridiculous it looked lol... my stupid ass!! Its not gonna take that long for it to grow back though because I only cut like maybe a half inch off. Guess my bangs are gonna have to wait!!! Lol but yeah.. that was really stupid of me. I was laughing at myself in the mirror for even thinking I could do that. && now on to love life.
Ahh man.. Black just like messed up the perfect imperfection fantasy with the L-word. He told me he loved me.. && i'm like negro no you don't?! && he gets mad because he says i'm telling him how he feels. It's just that I know he doesn't love me. WTF?? He doesn't know me. Not after 2-3 weeks he doesn't. So I guess its time to have that real-2-real talk with him, whenever he comes back from Texas. Not something you can do over the phone. Its gonna be difficult too because i've been avoiding his phone calls. I don't know what to say on the phone to him anymore either. Its just awkward. Him popping the L-Word was a major turn-off. Time for us to go our separate ways although I do regret some of the choices I made, running off of stupidity && rejection.
Oh yeah, and Darrius && I are officially back together as of a couple days ago. I just hope its the right decision because after this there are no more chances && no more just being friends. I think things are gonna be rocky in the beginning... getting used to being in a real relationship & all... but I just hope we can deal with our issues together. I'm just nervous about how it's all going to turn out. It was kind of awkward at first, you know the being mad at me for wearing short shorts to a block party with a lot of niggas, no going to the club, stay out the strip club, cleaning out my phone book so only the males with some importance remain. Shit is ridiculous, but I can't deny.... I kinda like lol. It's kinda sexy to have limitations. && I would have never thought of him the person to give them... but i'm learning a lot about him... && I don't wanna talk about it too much.... like Ryann says, don't count your blessings before you get them!!
Well I guess this is life after high school. Yaaaa.
xPce