Well I couldn't think of a title so.... its title less lol. Well I know I don't post that often anymore but I guess when I do post its because I have some things on my mind. So a few on the topics i'm going to touch on today is family, my house, my job, && my love. I think this is prob. gonna be one of those posts with some length to it... but oh well...
Well, two days ago.. or three... my cousin had her son. Juelz Alexander [not sure if thats how she spelled it] McCray. A beautiful 8lb boy. He's probably gonna look just like her too. From the picture my grandma sent me, he has her nose, && it looked like her feet lol. She has a wonderful blessing that I just hope she can grow to appreciate. I just txted her to let her know that I love her more than anything && that if she wants to move down here with me, we can get a place together && i'll help her with the baby. Right before they did her C-Section.. she txted me to let me know. She was tellin' me how her baby daddys mom was getting on her nerves. && how even though everybody was there for her.. she really wasn't happy. I wanted to cry because I couldn't be there for her... I can only keep her in my thoughts && prayers for now.
Now for the house,
We're about to lose our house. And there's really nothing I can do. My mother has all these luxuries in the house, and doesn't realize that we can SURVIVE WITHOUT THEM. The TV [her excuse was she needs it for the news], the Internet [which she says she needs to handle business on]. the cell phones [she kinda had a point but its still a luxury] now all of those come up to about maybe 400-600 dollars a month, which she could put towards PAYING HER MORTGAGE. I understand we've fallen on hard times before, but she's always looking for a handout && sometimes I wonder if that makes her feel like less than a women cause even at 37 she can't hold her own. She been goin in && out of hard times since she had me && it's getting ridiculous. She's too old for this bullshit && i feel sorry for my two brothers && sister because they have to suffer for every bad choice that she makes. I just gotta get right so that I know i'm takin' care of if anything does fail to go through.
Its possible that I might be getting a promotion!!! I'm so excited, nervous, scared!! I know that I can do it, I just gotta have faith in myself and keep my head up. I really hope I get it too. There is two ways it can go. I can go from Brand Rep to Lead Brand Rep 2... which will be one raise && thats through Christmas time, && then be promoted up to Assistant Store Leader in January and get another raise.. and be full time. That sounds SOOOOO good. Only concern I would have is dealing with work && school at the same time because I would have class Monday - Thursday. Then another way it could go would be me being promoted to Assistant Store Leader soon, and getting one raise, and trying to learn to be a manager during the BUSY HOLIDAYS. I mean, it's hard, rough, w/e.. but I think I can do it if it comes down to it, but i'd prefer it to go the other way. I really hope I get it too because it could help out a lot as far as my situation with having no car, && the house being all F'd up, && saving to get my own place maybe. I just think its time for a change and things are going alright.
&& and if you were wondering, me && Darrius are just fine. He's still making me happy && i'm still making him happy && we keeping each other satisfied. I love taking care of him && I feel like being with him is helping && influencing my change into being a GROWN woman. We don't fight, we have disagreements now && then but we don't argue. Our relationship is like.... imperfection at its best. I love him dearly and I know we're gonna last. As long as we keep doing what we're doing && thats taking care of each other. Soooo i'm gonna go like, wash some clothes, eat some food, && straighten up my bathroom [yeah... first-timer right?]. Then i'm going to try && finish up a course in driving school && I guess save the test for when Darrius gets here so he can do it with me. Which will prob be Saturday. k well i'm outro!!!!
xPieces!!